I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
