Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
