I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
