the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize