I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
