A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
