why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
