that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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