He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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