so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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