I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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