Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
A+ Viking dick
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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