areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
