My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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