Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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