Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
