You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
