he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
