he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
