Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
