let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
