you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
God, I missed his penis.
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