Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
