Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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