Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
