It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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