You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
