Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
