Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
