I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
