There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
