I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
