# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
