she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
