Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Terrible idea I love it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
