Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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