You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
