I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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