no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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