Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize