Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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