you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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