And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
