so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Randomize
