i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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