We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
