you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
