Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Panties = found
Randomize
