This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
