He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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