32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You can't special order awesome
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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