i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
