I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My cat gives me a boner
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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