I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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