You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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