My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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