so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he just fucked me for my cheese.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
