Betty ford says i'm here all night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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