guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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