I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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