I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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