the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
