We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
