My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think my mom watched the whole time
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think your dad took our porno
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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