i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
