You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
