Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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