This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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