Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize