How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
