Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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