oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
