I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
