Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
