3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize